The last 24 hours since the amniocentesis have been interesting. Not being able to lift anything over 10 pounds including miss Madeline hasn’t been easy. This one requirement basically prevented me from doing much of anything. On one hand it was nice-no laundry for me today! On the other hand, all I could do was sit and worry. I prayed a lot too. Prayed for a miracle. After what we heard during our appointment- the doctors will be “shocked” if the diagnosis is NOT Trisomy 18- I am having an internal struggle. This struggle is faith vs science. I don’t want to lose hope, but all signs were pointing to a trisomy diagnosis. The wait was torture.

Wayne was able to work from home yesterday to help me with any lifting, especially when it came to Madeline. I never really paid attention to how often I lift that little girl until I wasn’t able to do so. I pick her up to put her into the highchair, to change her diaper on the changing table, to put her into her crib, and just to snuggle. Why aren’t my arms totally ripped?

The following day Wayne went into work. He really needed to take care of a few things since he had been out of the office more than usual. In some ways, work has been a nice distraction for him.

I am trying to continue to take it easy. Not sure how successful I am being because this morning, while Madeline and I were playing on our bed (she loves to fall into the pillows), I had two contractions. There was some intensity to them. The first one totally took me by surprise.

Am I having a contraction? It’s kind of uncomfortable. How long did that last? Should I call someone? I’m not going into labor, am I?

As quickly as the contraction started, it ended. I was a little nervous about contracting, but not panicking…yet. What I think was a half hour later, I had a second contraction. Again, it was uncomfortable, but manageable. Now I was starting to panic. Of course I didn’t want to frighten Madeline, but I was really nervous about going into labor. I remembered Wayne and I used a contraction counter app while I was laboring with Madeline. The nurses would come in and ask how far apart my contractions were and we had no idea. So the app came in handy. But that app is on Wayne’s iPad which was with him at work. I have an iPhone now, so I quickly downloaded an app and I started keeping track. I also promised myself if I had a third contraction, I would call Karen, our caseworker as I’m supposed to call her with any questions or concerns. A third contraction was definitely a concern.

After all that I never had another contraction. Man, I have got to get a grip. The last thing this baby, Madeline, or Wayne needs is a stressed out, dooms day mommy & wife.

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