Before we left the hospital, we met with another lady from a team within Mercy called Heart Prints. The Heart Prints team is engaged when it’s a terminal situation. While our meeting with this team may have been premature, we wanted to get some answers and direction.
Before we left the hospital, we met with another lady from a team within Mercy called Heart Prints. The Heart Prints team is engaged when it’s a terminal situation. While our meeting with this team may have been premature, we wanted to get some answers and direction.
After leaving the ultrasound area, we were directed to a private meeting room where we waited. Soon, a lady named Maggie came in and introduced herself. She sat in a glider chair and slightly glided back and forth as we talked. She reminded Lauren and me of a sweet grandmother. We instantly liked her.
Lauren was pretty emotional for this discussion so I did most of the talking. Our first topic was Madeline. We let Maggie know we had been telling Madeline that our baby is very sick. Maggie recommended we change that approach as Madeline is inevitably going to get sick. Maggie’s suggestion was to change the message to “We’re not going to be able to bring this baby home with us.” Her words were a strong reminder of what was ahead of us.
We then started talking about various labor scenarios. What would the process be if the baby was live-born? What happens if the baby is still-born? If the baby was live-born, there were many decisions which would need to be made. The number and timing of those decisions would be driven based on how long our little girl would live (hours, days, or weeks).
Maggie kept reminding us we didn’t have to have this discussion now and we could wait. But, we wanted to try to prepare ourselves as best we could so we continued talking.
Maggie asked if we had a name for our baby. We didn’t. While we had talked about names nothing really stood out to us yet. We wanted a name with meaning. Maggie offered a book she had to assist us with the name. We took her up on her offer.
Maggie also asked if we had thought about taking pictures of our little girl. This was something I had not put much thought into but my first thought was if she was still-born we would not take pictures. It just seemed weird. Maggie said she strongly recommended taking pictures regardless because the pictures would be the only visual memory we will have. I wrestled with that idea. It is a memory we will carry forever so why would we need pictures? What would we do with them?
The topic then changed to what would happen after she passes and funeral logistics. It reminded me of the process of when my mom passed many years before so sadly that was familiar.
Maggie asked if we had any more questions. We didn’t so Maggie hugged us and said she would be praying for us. We left and went home. It was another mentally and emotionally exhausting day.